Where to house your mistress ... ;-)

[belgarion]

On Friday night a collegue approached me somewhat sheepishly and asked if you could talk to me privately about investment property. I thought this was odd as I don't know the guy well and certainly do not advertise the fact I have a few.

The conversation started about tax ... then appartments ... then moved to 'dependants' and finally it came out ... he's looking to house his mistress in an appartment ... a love nest!

Doing my best not to p!ss myself laughing I had to confess that I knew nothing about how the tax man would view a 'dependent' living rent free in a room.

So I suggested I post his 'delemma' here where anonimity protects other 'investors' from sharing with him whether this can be done. (I did warn him he'll probably be ribbed mercilessly.)

Enjoy :D

[Paper Tiger]

So bilge, you wants to know if you can get the tax man to subsidise your deceitfulness?

[belgarion]

J, Told you they would think it was me. You owe me that bottle of wine. :D

PT, That's pretty much it. If you know nothing on the subject then feel free spare us your witticisms.

If it appeases anyone's sensibilities perhaps we could change the scenario to the daughter of an old friend going to Auckland Uni and looking for a place to stay at a very, very reduced rent. :D

[Paper Tiger]

OK belge.
What I usually do is set up a new company, buy the entire block and install her as the building manager.
Hope that helps.

[belgarion]

LOL PT :)

The concept of using said person as the 'manager' had ocurred to me. I suggested that my collegue should buy 5 or more appartments and follow the same principle. You should have seen his face. (Sorry J [:I] - Love costs)

[rmbbrave]

Why not just rent a room at a hotel every time he wants a shag, like they do in Japan?

http://www.fukuoka-now.com/features/images/fn75_sp_love_002.jpg

Or does he want a mistress in her own apartment as some kind of bourgeois status symbol?

[belgarion]

RMB,

"Rent a room". I said the same. However, J's friend is a friend of over a year and rooms are no longer appropriate ... "its a next step" kind of thing - bourgeois? Probably.

Any women out there housing lovers? (I know of one housing an athlete but this situation is a little different.) C'mon ladies - How's it done?

[rmbbrave]

So his "friend" hasn't got her own place to live and/or can't afford one?

What is she, a student?

Surely not a high school student?

[belgarion]

LOL ... a uni student finishing her thesis

[duncan macgregor]

Never used to worry me about a room back in my dark past. A scotch on the rocks down at the beach suited me just fine. macdunk [remembering the good old days].

[rmbbrave]

A student doing a Phd ( or a master's ) will not be happy being a "mistress" - there isn't any social status in it. In fact, it would be an embarrassment for her. I bet she won't tell he friends if she becomes a kept woman.

Tell J she is using him and will dump him when she starts earning. Couldn't she get a student loan for an apartment?

If J really wants a mistress he'll have to get someone stupid who can't get a good paying job and will be grateful that he pays her rent.

[Paper Tiger]

You seem to know a lot about this sort of thing rmb.

[rmbbrave]

Indeed I do PT,

Getting divorced is still frowned upon in Japan and unhappy couples often stay together for the sake of the children.

This doesn't usually stand in the way of married men chasing a bit on the side though.

My first Japanese girl friend (M) was offered a "job" as a mistress when she was still a student by a "rich American computer company owner" (before I had met her).

They even checked out a few apartments together. He couldn't find a guarantor for the apartment and he left Japan a few weeks later dissillusioned with the place.

She was young and impressionable and at the time thought it sounded like fun but she had changed her mind by the time I had met her and was ashamed she had gone so far as looking at apartments.

Her friend C who was working actually became a bit on the side for a while. I used to tell her that the relationship had no future and she should stop wasting her youth on a guy who would never marry her. She was happy enough while the guy was paying for the love hotels but after a while the strain of supporting a family and a bit on the side became to much for him and he asked her to start paying for the love hotel and the dates when he was short. She dumped him soon after.

I have another friend K who also became a bit on the side, got pregnant and became a single mum. She was really struggling financially for a while but is now okay.

These affairs never work out if the guy is not prepared to dump his wife for the mistress.

Belgarion,

Tell your friend to give it up and if he really needs to shag someone other than his wife tell him to go to a prostitute.

[Stranger_Danger]

If he has only been seeing the mistress a year, he should hedge his bets.

He should find the most speculative apartment block around, then negotiate with the landlord to only commit to paying for the room in small chunks.

If the property plummets in value, he should then buy up all he can at what proves to be the lowest price going, pulling his average down to roughly market.

Results should of course be recorded on a spreadsheet. Apartment purchased at rock bottom, mistress happy.

How can one miss?

[Pennywise]

:D:D:D

[srotherh]

Pennywise
I know what you mean with the big smiles:D:D:D
You went through the same thing with your Japanese boyfriend.
Paid his rent then he found a better poofter than you
[:X]

[Pennywise]

quote:Originally posted by srotherh

Pennywise
I know what you mean with the big smiles:D:D:D
You went through the same thing with your Japanese boyfriend.
Paid his rent then he found a better poofter than you
[:X]



:D:D:D you seem fasinated with poofters Slother

[trackers]

Don't forget the ital's and their goumada's :O

[belgarion]

J had the following comment...

"Forums are useless ... I would have been better to take your [i.e. belgarion's] advice and engage a professional."

(I promised to make no witty comment :) ... but please posters ... help me out [:I])

[rmbbrave]

Hey Belgarion,

I was the one recommending he engage a professional!

"Tell your friend to give it up and if he really needs to shag someone other than his wife tell him to go to a prostitute."

[skinny]

The mistress needs to pay a little rent, not a lot, but enough to convince IRD that the property is a genuine rental. As a student she could apply for an accomodation supplement (J of course could reimburse). J should use a log book to record the travel he takes to the place and time spent on 'maintenance'. That way petrol costs and maintenance, plus the usual depreciation allowances and interest cost deductability, would no doubt result in a tax loss he can use to reduce other taxable income. A nice little rental indeed.

Although J would have to be confident Mrs. J would never see his tax return :D

[trackers]

I love it Skinny, should be a slogan - "Screw around on your wife - Get Tax Breaks!"

Hey Belg your friend J isn't Don Brash is it?!?!

:)

[winner69]

quote:Originally posted by skinny

.... usual depreciation allowances


whats the current depreciation rate of a mistress ?

[trackers]

quote:Originally posted by winner69


quote:Originally posted by skinny

.... usual depreciation allowances


whats the current depreciation rate of a mistress ?


Ahh thats an easy one - 50% if they're over 25, 33% if they're under (of course the life of the <s>asset</s> liability can be adjusted depending on how much they...speak) [8D]

[moimoi]

the enquirer could look at buying a "serviced" apartment....LMAO.

No but really...i think some of them, although subject to a management lease (usually to a hotel),do allow the owner 20 nights accommodation p.a....thats a shag a fortnite...is that suffucient.?

Either that or filly rents the apartment at market rent..to allow full tax deductibility...but then misses a few rent payments ((using the ""ooopps sorry i forgot"" reason)) to provide for reduced actual outLAY.

cheers
Moi.

[blockhead]

quote:Originally posted by moimoi

the enquirer could look at buying a "serviced" apartment....LMAO.

No but really...i think some of them, although subject to a management lease (usually to a hotel),do allow the owner 20 nights accommodation p.a....thats a shag a fortnite...is that suffucient.?

Either that or filly rents the apartment at market rent..to allow full tax deductibility...but then misses a few rent payments ((using the ""ooopps sorry i forgot"" reason)) to provide for reduced actual outLAY.

cheers
Moi.


It won't be "ooopps sorry I forgot the rent" that hurts, it will be "oopps sorry I forgot the pill that month" that really hurts,

and I don't speak from personal experience !!