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Beagle
19-01-2015, 09:10 AM
Not sure if many of you are pet lovers like I am but I thought it might be a bit of fun to have a thread for pet funnies / stories.

http://www.sunnyskyz.com/blog/614/The-17-Naughtiest-Dogs-Of-2014#QDXrt8ZPrpSKYP6h.01

BFG
19-01-2015, 11:47 AM
I've got one.

Our Sheprador (half shepherd half lab) is well trained and knows not to eat something unless we have said so. We can always leave her in the car with groceries and they will remain untouched while we are gone.

Anyways, one day my partner and I cooked a great chicken dinner and put it all out. Something drew our attention elsewhere in the house (I can't remember what), but we were gone only a few minutes. It was with quite a shock that we came back to see our 40kg hound had jumped up onto the table (the Shepherd half) and had basically devoured the entire chicken (the Lab half). She stopped and looked at us in stunned silence like "it wasn't me, I swear" with chicken skin hanging out her mouth.

Needless to say, someone was in the dogbox for a few days...

craic
19-01-2015, 02:10 PM
Neighbours Rottweiler was attacked by another neighbours Labrador. They put the labrador down. This was its second rottie and they couldn't afford to keep on paying the vets bills for fixing up the shattered rotties.

BIRMANBOY
20-01-2015, 09:55 AM
A story ...yes. Funny?...not particularly:(
Neighbours Rottweiler was attacked by another neighbours Labrador. They put the labrador down. This was its second rottie and they couldn't afford to keep on paying the vets bills for fixing up the shattered rotties.

skid
22-01-2015, 03:54 PM
True story--A customers neighbor in Parnel had just gotten their wooden floors sanded. The floor sander applied a coat of moisture cured polyurethane over the whole of the 1st floor ,up to the window leading to the deck,and climbed out.
The old woman on the other side having seen him climb out, immediately called the police who arrived 15min later with the dog squad, and seeing the window open a crack(fumes) sent in the police dogs..........

both the floor sander and the police(and i would imagine the dogs)were not happy campers.

skid
24-01-2015, 05:13 PM
One morning I noticed a strange stain on the blanket on the dining room couch. It was blue. How odd I thought, how did I get a blue stain on my couch? A few days later I noticed a similar stain, only this time it was red. Again, I thought, what have I been eating on here that's red? or blue? I couldnt think of anything. Another morning, another stain, this time a brown one. Then a few days after that, an orange one. Finally I clicked to the source of the strange multi-coloured stains.

My dog had been getting up in the middle of the night, sneaking down to the lounge, climbing on the coffee table, and taking an M&M from the candy bowl, transporting it into the dining room, jumping on the couch, where he licked away at it until it was gone. Moral of the story, M&Ms might not melt in your hand but they will stain your couch if licked rather than eaten.

If you were in the States ,you would have probably had grounds for a suet :)

Minerbarejet
26-01-2015, 11:51 AM
A long time ago when I had the mind boggling experience of living in Saudi Arabia there was a story doing the rounds that covers the adage of "old habits die hard".
The construction camp we were in that housed a number of nationalities in reasonably modern facilities was having a problem with the toilet facilities becoming blocked especially in the block with Saudi nationals, a lot of whom were Bedouin desert dwellers and unused to running water and flush toilets.
As you can imagine living in the desert does not provide an adequate supply of toilet paper when the need arises so smooth flat rocks are carried for performing ablutions. Needless to say if one stumbles across a smooth rock in the desert it is to be regarded with some suspicion.
The toilet facilities were becoming blocked with, you guessed it, flat rocks.
Having discovered the cause of the blockages the camp administration attempted to rectify the situation by posting a reminder in about twenty different languages throughout the camp reminding the personnel to refrain from using flat rocks in the toilets.
Unfortunately the interpreter for Arabic got something wrong in the translation.
The next day the toilets were again blocked but this time the flat rocks were all neatly wrapped in toilet paper.:)

skid
26-01-2015, 12:37 PM
A long time ago when I had the mind boggling experience of living in Saudi Arabia there was a story doing the rounds that covers the adage of "old habits die hard".
The construction camp we were in that housed a number of nationalities in reasonably modern facilities was having a problem with the toilet facilities becoming blocked especially in the block with Saudi nationals, a lot of whom were Bedouin desert dwellers and unused to running water and flush toilets.
As you can imagine living in the desert does not provide an adequate supply of toilet paper when the need arises so smooth flat rocks are carried for performing ablutions. Needless to say if one stumbles across a smooth rock in the desert it is to be regarded with some suspicion.
The toilet facilities were becoming blocked with, you guessed it, flat rocks.
Having discovered the cause of the blockages the camp administration attempted to rectify the situation by posting a reminder in about twenty different languages throughout the camp reminding the personnel to refrain from using flat rocks in the toilets.
Unfortunately the interpreter for Arabic got something wrong in the translation.
The next day the toilets were again blocked but this time the flat rocks were all neatly wrapped in toilet paper.:)

Is that what the ''pebble'' is all about under your name?:)

Minerbarejet
26-01-2015, 01:31 PM
Is that what the ''pebble'' is all about under your name?:)
Nice try, full marks, skid.

Unfortunately wrong.
Try PEB bull:)

And before somebody asks. That was my "pet" story.

nextbigthing
02-02-2015, 08:44 AM
Have a great day

6728

Joshuatree
02-02-2015, 09:22 AM
I used to fish the Tongariro river. One day i caught a trout that barely resisted being wound in. It was a spent fish that hadn't recovered from spawning and was skinny. Out of int i checked its stomach contents to seen what if anything it had managed to catch. A few tiny stones and small piece of torn paper ;looked like something out of a magazine. Only one word was complete and it was"Slim".

nextbigthing
04-02-2015, 06:08 AM
6732

This guy works for morningstar

Beagle
07-02-2015, 12:59 PM
http://www.azcentral.com/videos/news/world/2014/09/24/16163883/

Is that the cutest use of a cute Beagle or what !!!

Joshuatree
04-01-2019, 01:33 PM
Fat man vs female athlete: self-driving vehicles set to choose who dies Two million people contributed to a survey on who should live or die. (https://www.nzherald.co.nz/business/news/article.cfm?c_id=3&objectid=12184734)

Scroll down the preference in favour of sparing characters. Large people and dogs watch out ! And cats are at the bottom:ohmy::scared::)

Beagle
05-01-2019, 10:43 AM
Interesting that a dog is more valuable than a human being who is a criminal. Being more valuable than a cat is a no brainer is my opinion :)