Not even an Irish Blog, I hasten to add.............
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Not even an Irish Blog, I hasten to add.............
.
Question: How do you tell the difference between:-
A New Zealand Police Officer , An Australian Police Officer ?and
An American Police Officer?
To obtain the answer you must pose the following question to the Officer;
'You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes
around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the
knife, and charges.
You are carrying a Glock ..40, and you are an expert shot. You have
mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?'
NZ POLICE OFFICER'S Answer:
' Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his
hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it, am I using it in an
OSH approved fashion?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this
send to society and to my children?
If I raise my gun and he turns and runs away, Do I get blamed when he
falls over running away, knocks his head and kills himself?
Will the NZ tax payer foot the bill for his ACC claim if I injure him?
If I shoot him, and lose the court case. Does he have the opportunity to sue
me, cost me my job, my credibility and I will lose my family
home?
Am I being culturally sensitive to the attacker if I shoot him, will I be
offending his mana if I wound or kill him?
Will I have to defend myself in court as a racist if I shoot him? '
Australian Officer's Answer:
BANG!
American Officer's Answer
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
Click (changing magazine) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG
Retrenched Lehman Bank employees stage a protest by blockading the entrance to the Bank's Headquarters
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Stolen from hotcopper, but it gave me a giggle so heres a repost
> CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer.
> > CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer.
> > BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor
> > to mistake himself for a financial genius.
> > BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no
> > allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no
> > sex.
> > VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.
> > P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their
> > pants as the market keeps crashing.
> > BROKER -- What my broker has made me.
> > STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.
> > STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
> > STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your
> > assets equally between themselves.
> > FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been
> > disconnected.
> > MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.
> > CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears
> > down the toilet.
> > YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker
> > for $240 per share.
> > WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker
> > who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.
> > INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now
> > locked up in a nuthouse.
> > PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use
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http://yourscene.latimes.com/PHOTOS/...os/387416E.jpg