The New Market Terminology
CEO - Chief Embezzlement Officer.
CFO - Corporate Fraud Officer.
Bull Market - A random market movement cousing an investor to mistake themself for a financial genius.
VALUE INVESTING - The art of buying low and selling lower.
P/E RATIO - The percentage of investors wetting their beds as the market keeps crashing.
BROKER - What my broker has made me.
STANDARD & POORS - Your life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST - Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
STOCK SPLIT - When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
FINANCIAL PLANNER - A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
MARKET CORRECTION - The day after you buy your stocks.
CASH FLOW - The movement your money makes as it goes down the toilet.
YAHOO - What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
WINDOWS - What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR - Last years investor who's now locked up in a nut house.
PROFIT - An archaic word no longer in use.
Faulty toilet seats kill one, injures six
Friday, October 24 2008, 03:52 BST
By Michael Thornton
A range of faulty toilet seats has resulted in the death of one person and injuries to at least six.
Some 91 reports have been registered against Homecraft Rolyan Savannah seats, according to the Medicines and Healthcare products Regulatory Agency (MHRA).
Close to 25,000 of the seats, which carry AA211, AA2112L, AA2114Y and AA2114 product codes, are estimated to have been sold in the UK between May 2007 and January 2008.
Officials are now calling for social care providers to be vigilant if they are looking after people using the product.
The MHRA added that one woman was killed in an accident caused by a faulty seat, although it pointed out that the exact circumstances surrounding her death had not been made clear.
"Six of the reports resulted in the person falling off the toilet because the toilet seat slipped. Injuries have included bumps to the head, bruising and back injury," said MHRA representative Clive Bray.
http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/odd/a133...e-six.html?rss