Clean Jokes for Bored FX traders

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Dear Respectfully,

My warmest greeting to you in the name of the Lord.

I am writing this letter with due respect and heartful of tears since we have not known or met ourselves previously.
I am Miss Vivian Ohans and I inherited this sum from my late father who died in recent crisis in Cote d'Ivoire. I wish to request for your assistance in investing this sum in lucrative venture or manufacturing and real estate management in your country. I have Eight million,Seven hundred thousand United State Dollars. USD($8,700,000) to invest and I will require your assistance in receiving the fund in your account. I will be glad to give you some reasonable percent from the total sum for your assistance.


Before the death of my father on September 14/9/2005, he gave me all the necessary legal documentation concerning the deposit of the fund in the bank, I am 21 years old and a university undergraduate and really don't know what to do. Now I want an account overseas where I can transfer this funds and after the transaction I will come and reside permanently in your country till such a time that it will be convinient for me to return back home if I so desire. This is because I have suffered a lot of set backs as a result of incessant political crisis here in Ivory coast. The death of my father actually brought sorrow to my life. I also want to invest the fund under your care because I am ignorant of business world.
I am in a sincere desire of your humble assistance in this regards. Your suggestions and ideas will be highly regarded. Now permit me to ask these few questions:
1. Can you honestly help me from your heart?
2. Can I completely trust you?
3. What percentage of the total amount in question will be good for you after the money is in your account?
Please, consider this and get back to me as soon as possible. Immedaitely I confirm your willingness, I will send to you my picture and also give you more details about myself and the bank where my late father deposited the fund, so that you can reach the bank and confirm the existence of the fund as well, because seeing is believing.

Awaiting your immediate response and may God bless you.
Best Regards
Miss Vivian Ohans
vivian_ohan021@yahoo.co.in
vivian_ohans4@yahoo.co.jp

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heres a joke except I'm only laughing now I'm back home.

I pop out for a second this morning with just shorts and a t-shirt on and the door locks behind me. Bugger. No phone - no keys - no money.

Walk to Epsom from CBD in bare feet to get the girls key. That ashphalt is hot, I now have some wonderful blisters.

[arco]

Reminds me of the time I was decorating an outbuilding in very high temperatures with just my shorts on......a gust of wind blew the house door closed, and you guessed - it locked me out......I had no keys, no shoes, no money, no mobile, and all the windows were on security latches, etc, etc, plus it was a Friday afternoon, I was out in the country and it was around 5pm .....

[pedro.nz]

and so I......