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14-03-2008, 04:07 PM
#131
.................it was just her way of becoming a member
of the effluent society
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14-03-2008, 06:04 PM
#132
Member
I heard she looked a bit flushed when she arrived at hospital....
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14-03-2008, 08:41 PM
#133
.........apparantly some of the time she thought
she was sitting on a stool
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31-03-2008, 06:25 PM
#134
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31-03-2008, 06:26 PM
#135
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31-03-2008, 07:18 PM
#136
On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play together.
One day the two were playing, when the horse fell into a bog and began to sink.
Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken to go get the farmer for help!
Off the chicken ran, back to the farm. Arriving at the farm, he searched and searched for the farmer, but to no avail, for he had gone to town with the only tractor.
Running around, the chicken spied the farmer's new Harley.
Finding the keys in the ignition, the chicken sped off with a length of rope hoping he still had time to save his friend's life.
Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see the chicken arrive on the shiny Harley,
and he managed to get a hold of the loop of rope the chicken tossed to him.
After tying the other end to the rear bumper of the farmer's bike, the chicken then drove slowly forward and, with the aid of the powerful bike, rescued the horse!
Happy and proud, the chicken rode the Harley back to the farmhouse, and the farmer was none the wiser when he returned.
The friendship between the two animals was cemented: Best Buddies, Best Pals.
A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit, and soon, he too, began to sink and cried out to the horse to save his life!
The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the large puddle.
Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his hangy-down thing and he would then lift him out of the pit.
The chicken got a good grip, and the horse pulled him up and out, saving his life.
The moral of the story?
"When You're Hung Like A Horse, You Don't Need A Harley To Pick Up Chicks!
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31-03-2008, 11:47 PM
#137
What do you call a dog with one leg??
Heather
"Gold is money, everything else is credit"- J.P. Morgan
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01-04-2008, 09:54 AM
#138
I don't know how he's going to find anyone to fill her shoe
The Heather Mills joke thread -
http://board.dogbomb.co.uk/showthread.php?t=45245
Mrs Mills- McCartney is said to be distraught over the split "He has
been my crutch for so long!!" She said in an earlier briefing, "I have
no idea why this has happened, I'm stumped"
"She's running around in circles", according to a close friend, "she
will need all the support she can get its not like its easy to walk out
on a relationship like this"
It is not known whether a pre-nuptial agreement was signed prior to the
marriage, Paul McCartney is one of the richest men in the world amassing
a colossal wealth due to his participation with The Beatles and
subsequent musical collaborations, if an agreement hasn't been signed it
is believed that she won't have a leg to stand on
Rumours abound over the split have suggested that infidelity may have
been the cause. "She's terrible" a source stated, "always trying to get
her leg over".
Another source has suggested that her battle with alcoholism was the
cause. "Macca couldn't handle it anymore" a friend said "he would get
home at night and find her legless"
Many have attributed this to a problem which started with the present
that Paul had got prior to the wedding; he gave her a new prosthetic leg
for Christmas but that was just a stocking-filler. The main gift was a
plane but then he gave her a Ladyshave for the other leg.
Last edited by arco; 01-04-2008 at 09:55 AM.
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01-04-2008, 10:07 AM
#139
Many have attributed this to a problem which started with the present
that Paul had got prior to the wedding; he gave her a new prosthetic leg
for Christmas but that was just a stocking-filler. The main gift was a
plane but then he gave her a Ladyshave for the other leg.
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im still laughing
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04-04-2008, 01:05 AM
#140
Member
I heard the worst part is, he makes the chairs watch
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main...npicnic128.xml
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