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  1. #31
    Senior Member slam's Avatar
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    quote:Originally posted by Xerof

    Not so much a joke, but a challenge to see if you're up to being an FX trader

    How many? One post each
    6

  2. #32
    Kanga ru Xerof's Avatar
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    Well, stick to the day job Peat, Slam, you're technically a genius, but then I could have guessed that - you live in Christchurch

    6 it is - apparently the brain does not immediately register the word 'of'.

    Look now Peat, you'll see 6 easily!

    Ahem, I said 3 too[xx(][xx(]

    Xerof

  3. #33
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    Strange isn't it how the brain works, something to do with pattern recognition and being able to skip over some words, seeing them but not seeing them - try reading the sentence backwards, number right first time?

  4. #34
    Guru peat's Avatar
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    aaargh i hate that **** heheh
    yeh day job it is for me I'm afraid

    well i least i get the best jokes around here....

  5. #35
    Senior Member slam's Avatar
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    Must admit I have seen it before
    But still had to look at it a few times to get them all


    Try This One

    http://www.patmedia.net/marklevinson..._illusion.html

    Don't always see what is there, explains my trading latley[B)]

    Cheers
    Slam

  6. #36
    Kanga ru Xerof's Avatar
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    Probably heard this before but it made me giggle.....

    A teacher asks her class to use the word 'contagious' in a sentence.

    Roland, the class swot, gets up and says, "Last year I got the flu and my mum said it was contagious."

    "Well done, Roland" says the teacher, "Can anyone else try?"

    Katie, a sweet little girl with pigtails, says, "My grandma says there's a bug going round, and it's contagious."

    "Well done, Katie" says the teacher. "Anyone else?"

    Little Irish Shaun jumps up and says in a broad Irish accent, "Our next door neighbour is painting his house with a two-inch brush and my Dad says it will take the contagious"



  7. #37
    Guru peat's Avatar
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    just as well the sharetrade spell check doesnt pick up on that sort of Irish !! ;+)

  8. #38
    Guru peat's Avatar
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    saw this just now and well even tho its been around thought I would add it here coz its goin with the Irish theme....


    John o reilly hoisted his beer and said, Heres to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!
    That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night! He went home and told his wife mary, I won the prize for the best toast of the night.
    She said Aye did ye now. And what was your toast?.
    John said, Heres to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife.
    Oh that is very nice indeed John! Mary said.
    The next day, Mary ran into one of Johns drinking buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary.
    She said, Aye, he told me, and i was a bit surprised meself. You know, hes only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time i had to pull him by the ears to make him come.

  9. #39
    Kanga ru Xerof's Avatar
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    One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his wife's arm. The wife turns over and says "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh." The husband, rejected, turns over. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife shoulder again and says, "Do you have a dental appointment too?"

  10. #40
    Kanga ru Xerof's Avatar
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    A couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, "Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together." "I know,"the old man said. "We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago." "Well," Granny snickered. "Let's relive some old times." Where upon,the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table. "You know,honey,"the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago." I wouldn't be surprised," came the reply, "One's in your coffee and the other is in your cereal."

  11. #41
    Kanga ru Xerof's Avatar
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    A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Madam, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 221."

  12. #42
    Kanga ru Xerof's Avatar
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    More despatches from the London lads - must be bored too...

    One evening a man was at home watching TV and eating peanuts. He'd
    toss them in the air, then catch them in his mouth. In the middle of
    catching one, his wife asked him a question, and as he turned to answer her, a peanut fell in his ear.

    He tried and tried to dig it out but succeeded in only pushing it
    in deeper. He called his wife for assistance, and after hours of trying they became worried and decided to go to the hospital.

    As they were ready to go out the door, their daughter came home
    with her date. After being informed of the problem, their daughter's date said he could get the peanut out. The young man told the father to sit down, then proceeded to shove two fingers up the father's nose and told him to blow hard. When the father blew, the peanut flew out of his ear.
    The mother and daughter jumped and yelled for joy. The young man insisted that it was nothing and the daughter took the young man out to the kitchen for something to eat.

    Once he was gone, the mother turned to the father and said, "That's so wonderful! Isn't he smart? What do you think he's going to be when he grows older?"
    The father replied "From the smell of his fingers, our son in-law."



  13. #43
    Guru peat's Avatar
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    The Bank of England decision to keep rates unchanged was expected.

    The only member of its rate-setting committee to have voted for a rate hike in May and June, David Walton, died before July's meeting.

  14. #44
    Guru peat's Avatar
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    "After a long day, an exhausted, frustrated trader is standing in front of the elevator, waiting to go home. Elevator doors open, and he sees his chief market analyst. Trader looks at him and says, 'OK, now can you tell me which way it is – up or down

  15. #45
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    And similarly........................

    One evening while having dinner with a fundamentalist I accidentally knocked a sharp knife off the edge of the table. He watched the knife twirl through the air, as it came to rest, with the pointed end sticking into his shoe.
    “Why didn’t you move your foot?“ I exclaimed.
    “I was waiting for it to come back up“, he replied.


    - Ed Seykota -



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