Subject: LETTER FROM MANAGEMENT
Date: Tue, 29 Jan 2009 09:15:44 +0000
Dear Employees,
Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 40 years of age and above on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).
Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to management to be considered for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination). Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW programme (Scheme Covering Retired-Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Management deems appropriate. Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).
Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Management.
Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much **** (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Management has always prided itself on the amount of **** it gives employees. Should you feel that you do not receive enough ****, please bring this to the attention of your Supervisor, who has been trained to give you all the **** you can handle.
The 'trip' began at a fleamarket in San Francisco a few years ago. I came across my first old toaster, a beautiful chrome pop up monster. A few weeks later in Holland I bought one of the ugliest toasters ever made: The HAGEKA from the German Democratic Republic. Now, a couple of years later, I am proud to present a collection of nearly 600 different pieces.
we bought a matching toaster and jug set... i wanted a jug that didnt sound like a jet engine and so of course the girl had to get the matching toaster.
tea and toast is a very important ritual - cant be doin it with shoddy equipment!
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Originally Posted by peat
Woman has baby on VIRGIN plane - leaves it behind
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