Clean Jokes for Bored FX traders

[Xerof]

......Holy Mary, mother of Jesus

[peat]

conceived in Apia (Up Ear)

[Dr_Who]

An Asian guy walks into the New York City currency exchange with 2000 yen and walks out with $72. Next week he walks in with 2000 yen and gets $66. He asks the lady why he gets less money this week than last week. The lady says "Fluctuations". The Asian guy storms out, and just before slamming the
door, turns around and says: "Fluc you Amelicans too!"

[miner]

Involuntary Muscular Contractions







A Professor was giving a lecture on 'Involuntary Muscular contractions'

to his first year medical students.

Realizing that this was not the most riveting subject, the Professor decided to lighten the mood slightly.

He pointed to a young woman in the front row and said, 'Do you know what your ars*hole is doing while you're having an orgasm?'

She replied, 'Probably out fishing with his mates!!

[miner]

Five poms and an Irishman were in a rape line up, as the cops brought the witness in paddy stepped forward and said,"that's her the ungrateful fat slut".

[peat]

and then he probably lost his job on the telly too.

[Hoop]

There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job it was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses.
One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no actual address or postcode. He thought he should open it to see what it was about.

The letter read:

Dear God,

I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had £100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension payment. Next Sunday is my birthday, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with, have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope.. ....Please help me.

Sincerely,
Edna


The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few pounds. By the time he made the rounds, he had collected £96, which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman. The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends.
A few days later, another letter came addressed to God and in the same hand. All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened.

It read:


Dear God,

How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me? Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift. By the way, there was £4 missing. I think it might have been those bastards at the Post Office.

Sincerely,
Edna

[AMR]

So I got a little bored...

[arco]

Hours of fun

http://zapatopi.net/treeoctopus/

Scroll to the bottom for more interesting articles




http://zapatopi.net/

[peat]

step daughter told me a joke which I didnt get at first

'tis very topical re recent celebrity deaths.

Farah Fawcett was given a wish as she entered the pearly gates because she'd been such a good person....
So she asked for God to look after the children.






















if
you
dont
get
it



you're not alone....









but next thing you know


































Michael Jackson dies