Clean Jokes for Bored FX traders

[peat]

Pammy-versus-the-Possum

she hopes the focus doesn't stray too far from the great New Zealand designers showing their collections.

snigger...

[arco]

Peachy

[arco]

A BUSLOAD of naked police officers allegedly used an unmarked police van to drive across Brisbane to a boozy bucks party, horrifying motorists with an impromptu nude dash in suburban traffic.

http://www.news.com.au/couriermail/story/0,27574,26106308-3102,00.html

[arco]

[peat]

Two economists were walking down the street when they noticed two women yelling across the street at each other from their apartment windows.

Of course they will never come to agreement, stated the first economist.
And why is that, inquired his companion, Why, of course, because they are arguing from different premises

[peat]

Hong Kong Economics


You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping five cows. The milk rights of six cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all seven cows' milk back to the listed company. The annual report says that the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Meanwhile, you kill the two cows because the Feng Shui is bad.

TRADITIONAL ECONOMICS
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies and the economy grows.
You retire on the income.

INDIAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You worship them.

PAKISTAN ECONOMICS
You don't have any cows.
You claim that the Indian cows belong to you.
You ask the US for financial aid,
China for military aid,
British for Warplanes,
Italy for machines,
Germany for technology,
French for submarines,
Switzerland for loans,
Russia for drugs
Japan for equipment.
You buy the cows with all this
And claim exploitation by the world.

AMERICAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
You profess surprise when the cow drops dead.
You put the blame on some nation with cows & naturally that nation will be a danger to mankind.
You wage a war to save the world and grab their cows.

FRENCH ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.

GERMAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so that they live for 100 years, eat once a month and milk themselves.

BRITISH ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
They are both mad.

ITALIAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You don't know where they are.
You break for lunch.

SWISS ECONOMICS
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing them.

JAPANESE ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You redesign them so that they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create cute cartoon cow images called Cowkimon and market them worldwide.

RUSSIAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 17 cows.
You give up counting and open another bottle of vodka.

CHINESE ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment, high bovine productivity and arrest anyone reporting the actual numbers.

SINGAPORE ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
Believe you have a brilliant government
Need to hire foreign talents to manage your cows
You lost all your cows.

SRI LANKAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You make one the President and the other the Leader of the Opposition!

[arco]

A man knocked the door of house. The lady opened the door.

The man said, "I am the here on the run, to fix your leaky pipe."

The Lady said, "We don't have any leaky pipe here."

The plumber on run, says, "My note reads, your house called for a Plumbing Emergency, address looks exact, Aren't you Mrs. Mathur?"

The Lady says, "No, Mathurs moved away about a year back from this house. We are the Sharmas."

The plumber grimaces, "What kind of people are they, calls for an Emergency repair and then move away."

[Dr_Who]

Very funny

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hGLss...eature=related

[miner]

>> A father walks into a restaurant with his young son.
>> He gives the young boy three 10 cent coins to play with to keep him
>> occupied.
>>
>> Suddenly, the boy starts choking, going blue in the face. The father
>> realizes the boy has swallowed the coins and starts slapping him on
>> the back.
>>
>> The boy coughs up 2 of the 10 cent coins, but keeps choking. Looking
>> at his son, the father is panicking, shouting for help.
>>
>> A well dressed, attractive, and serious looking woman, in a blue
>> business suit is sitting at a coffee bar reading a newspaper and
>> sipping a cup of coffee.
>>
>> At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down,
>
>> neatly folds the newspaper places it on the counter, gets up from her
>> seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the restaurant.
>>
>> Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants, takes hold of
>> the boy's testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first
>> and then ever so firmly.
>>
>> After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the last
>
>> of the 10 cent coins, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.
>>
>> Releasing the boy's testicles, the woman hands the coin to the father
>> and walks back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word.
>>
>> As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the
>> father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, "I've
>> never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are
>
>> you a doctor? "
>>
>>
>> 'No,' the woman replied,
>> .
>>
>>
>> 'I'm with the Inland Revenue..'

[arco]

I thought what you use is simplified Chinese, hoped that you can understand. Your father is the India lineage, but you, since calls self the Chinese people outward, hoped that you can the self-respect dead weight, three think of the cautious word, looks like such which the Twinkle elder sister couple of days ago said that do not give the Chinese people on the face to discredit. Gesticulates at the forum to other people are not equal to the communication exchange. This is the clear equality place of exchange, nobody uses to install causes a clamor. So as to avoid other people good, is disinclined principle it, bad, then snorts contemptuously. In addition: You everywhere paste the card which these many most people cannot understand, what many sends a posting, but multi-water-drop design time spirit guarantee fairly good quality?