Clean Jokes for Bored FX traders

**arco** · 25-09-2009, 09:27 AM

EVERETT, Wash. - Five Washington state baristas charged customers to touch their breasts and buttocks at an espresso stand where servers wear bikinis to draw business, police said.
The five were charged Wednesday with prostitution. Charging money for that kind of touching falls under the city's definition of prostitution.
The Everett Herald reports the women were charging up to $80 to strip down while fixing lattes and mochas.

http://www.azcentral.com/offbeat/art...ista24-ON.html

**arco** · 25-09-2009, 09:33 AM

......................Knight fled the scene to a nearby construction site and attempted to hide in a portable toilet that was also on the site. The truck's owner and his friend soon caught up to Knight and tipped the portable toilet over, trapping Knight inside the toilet until police could arrive.

When officers arrived, they found Knight still inside the toilet, soaking wet in the toilet's contents...................

http://www.theweeklyvice.com/2008_08_01_archive.html

**arco** · 27-09-2009, 02:15 PM

Asia Lottery Email Award 2009
No.10/11B, Jln Tun Razak,
Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia 56000.

Sir/Madam

YOUR E-MAIL ADDRESS WON THIS YEARS ASIA LOTTERY AWARD

We the board members of Asia Lottery Email Award wish to send our congratulatory message over the success of your Email Address emerging as a lucky winning Email from our computer balloting held on the 25th of September 2009. This is a Millennium Scientific Computer Game in which email addresses were used and it is also a promotional program aimed at encouraging internet users; therefore you do not require to purchase a lottery ticket to participate in this programme.

Your approved winning star price is to the tune of Us$643,815.00 (Six Hundred & Fourty Three Thousand,Eight Hundred & Fifteen United States Dollars Only). We have appointed an agent to process your claims with the paying finance institution and so you are highly required to immediately forward your details to them and we have as well stated the informations which you are expected to provide below:

: Full Legal Names
: Contact Address
: Contact Tel/Fax Numbers
: Country of Citizenship
: Alternate Email Address{If Any}

Below is your winning details:

Ref No: AS/09/13/57/009/KL
Batch No: SLTO/7916/KL/AS
Lucky No: 06-117-010782
Serial No: KLUOTI/754236

Mr.Astrid Pedersen
Maandoi Security Services (Malaysia)
A4 Jln Yam Tuan 70000 Seremban,
Seremban,Negeri Sembilan,70000,
Malaysia.
Email:infomaandoi@aim.com

The Validity period of your lottery winnings is for twenty(20) working days hence you are expected to make your claims immediately as any claim not made before this date will be tagged as unclaimed and will be used for our next Lottery programme.

Note: You are advised to keep your winning details very confidential until the lump sum prize is received in your account or through any convenient payment mode deemed fit for you. This precautionary measure is to avoid multiple applications on your winnings.

Yours sincerely

Noraliza Binti Ismail
{Program Cordinator}

Once more we congratulate you for being one of our lucky winners!!

**Hoop** · 03-10-2009, 10:57 AM

A quote from the Caseys Report emailed to me this morning

".....This next entry is a beauty. It is purportedly the actual recorded answering message from a school in New Zealand. I can’t be sure that it’s authentic, but it’s very funny and an all-too-true assessment of the nature of parents these days. Watch/listen to it by clicking on the link just below. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7C5Rnb7J3sU

Yes... the video was funny but ...Maroochydore High School Queensland????? is a part of New Zealand

!!!! WOW..how about that.

**arco** · 15-10-2009, 05:58 PM

.
Bernard Madoff got into a fight in the prison yard with another inmate over the stock market – and won, the New York Post reported, quoting eyewitnesses. The 71 year-old Ponzi schemer, who is serving 150 years at the Butner, NC federal prison, got into a heated argument about the state of the market with another inmate in his 60s, inmates told the New York Post.

More
http://www.cnbc.com/id/33290584/?site=14081545

**peat** · 15-10-2009, 08:43 PM

well I ask you, would you listen to his views on the stockmarket??

**arco** · 15-10-2009, 10:34 PM

A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him,'Father, I have a problem.

I have two female parrots,

But they only know how to say one thing.'

'What do they say?' the priest inquired.

They say,'Hi, we're hookers!
Do you want to have some fun?'

That's obscene!' the priest exclaimed,
then he thought for a moment.

'You know,' he said,
'I may have a solution to your problem.

I have two male talking parrots,
which I have taught to pray and read the Bible.
Bring your two parrots over to my house, and we'll
put them in the cage with Francis and Peter.

My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship,
And your parrots are sure to stop saying . .
That phrase . . In no time.'

Thank you,' the woman responded,
'this may very well be the solution.'

The next day,She brought her female parrots to the priest's house.

As he ushered her in, she saw that his two male parrots
were inside their cage holding rosary beads and praying.

Impressed,she walked over and placed her parrots in with them.

After a few minutes,the female parrots cried out in unison:
"Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?'

There was stunned silence.

Shocked,one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot
And exclaimed,

"Put the beads away, Frank.Our prayers have been answered!'

**peat** · 19-10-2009, 01:22 PM

Online share traders with a tendency to get over-excited now have help at hand.

EmoBracelet helps out overzealous traders

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/business/n...ectid=10604121

**arco** · 19-10-2009, 01:29 PM

http://www.docstoc.com/docs/10383138...ess-Currencies

**arco** · 19-10-2009, 02:53 PM

Hello

I am writting this letter with due respect and heartful of tears since we have not known or met ourselves previously. I am asking for your assistance after I have gone through your profile that speaks good of you.

I will be so glad if you can allow and lead me to the right channel towards your assistance to my situation now. I will make my proposal well known if I am given the opportunity. I would like to use this opportunity to introduce myself to you.

well, i am zhara kones 17years old girl and I know that this proposal might be a surprise to you but do consider it as an emmergency. My (late) father Mr kipkalya kones was a very wealthy gold and cocoa merchant who based in Accra and Abidjan respectively.

But he was killed along side with my mother during last year's Rable attact and all his properties was totally destroyed. However, after their death I managed to escape with a very important document (DEPOSIT CERTIFICATE (US$8m)million U.S Dollars deposited by my late father in the bank which i am the next of kin. Meanwhile,i am saddled with the problem of securing a trust worthy foriegn personality to help me transfer the money over to his country and into his possession pending my arrival to meet with him.

Furthermore,you can contact the bank for confirmation and i will issue a letter of authorisation on your name,that will enable the bank to deal with you on my behalf. I am giving you this offers as mentioned with every confidence on your acceptance to assist me or take me as your child and manage the money.

I am inclined to offer you 20% of the total sum as a mode of compensation for your effort after the successful transfering of these fund to your nominated account overseas Conclusively,i wish you send me a reply immediately as soon as you recieve this proposal,please write me back with this email address (zharakipkalya017@yahoo.fr)

Until then, Sincerely

yours,

zhara kones