Clean Jokes for Bored FX traders

[arco]

I tried this last night with a bra that Mrs arco was wearing, but she reckoned it could have been more effective if I had allowed her to remove the bra first

.........................The bra-mask could be used during such disasters as fires, terrorist attacks, dust storms or a swine flu outbreak, Bodnar said. Indeed, she first thought up the idea while treating victims of the 1986 Chernobyl nuclear disaster as a medical university graduate in her native Ukraine.

Bodnar is now pursuing commercialization of her bra-mask. She hopes all women will eventually have one.

But what about the men?

http://www.chicagotribune.com/featur...,4631334.story

[minimoke]

But what about the men?

A jock strap?
http://dazeddigital.com/ArtsAndCultu...ated_Jockstrap

[arco]

.

A husband and his wife sitting next to a drunk in a bar.
Suddenly the drunk stands up and yells, "ATTENTION ALL" and farts loudly.
The wife is extremely embarrassed, and the husband looks at the drunk and says, "Excuse me, you just farted before my wife." The drunks replies, " I'm sorry I didn't know it was her turn."

[arco]

Disgruntled..........

[dartMonkey]

Oopsy daisy ... accidentally posted this to the FPA.NZX thread ...
here goes again ...

A very tired nurse walks into a bank,

Totally exhausted after an 18-hour shift.

Preparing to write a check,

She pulls a rectal thermometer out of her purse

And tries to write with it.

When she realizes her mistake,

She looks at the flabbergasted teller

And without missing a beat, she says:

'Well, that's great....that's just great....
Some asshole's got my pen!'

[dartMonkey]

I was having trouble with my computer.

So I called Eric, the 11 year old next door whose bedroom looks like Mission

Control, and asked him to come over.

Eric clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.



As he was walking away, I called after him, 'So, what was wrong?'

He replied, 'It was an ID ten T error.'

I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, 'An ID ten T

error? What's that? In case I need to fix it again.'

Eric grinned ... 'Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?'

'No,' I replied.

Write it down,' he said, 'and I think you'll figure it out.'

So I wrote down: I D 1 0 T



I used to like Eric, the little bastard .

[dragonz]

I was having trouble with my computer.

So I called Eric, the 11 year old next door whose bedroom looks like Mission

Control, and asked him to come over.

Eric clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.



As he was walking away, I called after him, 'So, what was wrong?'

He replied, 'It was an ID ten T error.'

I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, 'An ID ten T

error? What's that? In case I need to fix it again.'

Eric grinned ... 'Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?'

'No,' I replied.

Write it down,' he said, 'and I think you'll figure it out.'

So I wrote down: I D 1 0 T



I used to like Eric, the little bastard .

Thanx Drtmonkey. I had a good laugh at these posts. Bloody 10 year olds eh

[Hoop]

[Kees]

Dave is gay.




Dave goes to the doc to have tests done.



Doc comes back & says sorry, I cant beat around the bush, but you have aids.

Dave says **** doc what can I do ?

Doc says go home and eat 1 curry sausage, 1 head of cabbage, 20 peeled carrots,10 jalapeno chillis, 40 walnuts, and half a box of bran, then top it off with 1 gallon of prune juice.

Dave gobsmacked says will that save me ?

Doc says no, but it will give you a better understanding of what your arse is for!!!!!

[dragonz]

Dave is gay.




Dave goes to the doc to have tests done.



Doc comes back & says sorry, I cant beat around the bush, but you have aids.

Dave says **** doc what can I do ?

Doc says go home and eat 1 curry sausage, 1 head of cabbage, 20 peeled carrots,10 jalapeno chillis, 40 walnuts, and half a box of bran, then top it off with 1 gallon of prune juice.

Dave gobsmacked says will that save me ?

Doc says no, but it will give you a better understanding of what your arse is for!!!!!

Ha ha ha ha ha x 10000

Good advice for any pillow biter