Clean Jokes for Bored FX traders

[arco]

Size matters - so they say. Another rivalry issue perhaps - actually New Zealand is around 1/28th the size of Australia, whereas on this postcard Australia is portrayed as being around a quarter of the size of NZ

[fungus pudding]

Size matters - so they say. Another rivalry issue perhaps - actually New Zealand is around half the size of Australia, whereas on this card Australia is portrayed as being around a quarter of the size of NZ

Well - looks like National are winning with their goal of catching Australia quicker than they expected. Just the other day we were only one/twenty-eighth the size of Australia.

http://www.worldatlas.com/aatlas/pop...ns/ctypopa.htm

[arco]

Well - looks like National are winning with their goal of catching Australia quicker than they expected. Just the other day we were only one/twenty-eighth the size of Australia.

http://www.worldatlas.com/aatlas/pop...ns/ctypopa.htm

.......I was never that good a geography - original corrected

My confusion after a quick glance at Wikipedia which stated...............

New Zealand is part of Zealandia, a microcontinent nearly half the size of Australia that gradually submerged after breaking away from the Gondwanan supercontinent.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Zealand

[fungus pudding]

.......I was never that good a geography - original corrected

My confusion after a quick glance at Wikipedia which stated...............

New Zealand is part of Zealandia, a microcontinent nearly half the size of Australia that gradually submerged after breaking away from the Gondwanan supercontinent.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Zealand

Yeah - but we're concerned only with the bit that isn't submerged. And if you are worse at geography than me you should be given a special award for an incredible acheivement.

[arco]

Yeah - but we're concerned only with the bit that isn't submerged. And if you are worse at geography than me you should be given a special award for an incredible acheivement.

A picture speaks a thousand words

[fungus pudding]

In the states FBI stands for "Female Body Inspector"

Gee. I'd like to be one of those.

[percy]

Fungus

I wouldnt try googling for an image, the results are probably monitored by the FBI or something

What's doing in Chch, the women no good?

reminds me of the two old Etonians who meet up at their club in Pall Mall.
One says to the other;"I say did you hear about Ponsonby? Poor chap was hadup in India for having sexual intercourse with an elephant'.
"My God! Male or female?"
"Female of course,Ponsonby's no queer!"

[Kees]

Australia Post created a new stamp displaying a picture of the current Prime Minister of Australia, Mr Kevin Rudd, and has recently suspended a recall of the stamps as requested by the Prime Minister after a special commission enquiry finding.


The Prime Minister was told that the stamp was not sticking to envelopes and the enraged Prime Minister demanded a full investigation.
After a month of testing and spending of $9.73 million, a special commission presented the following findings:
1) The stamp is in perfect order.
2) There is nothing wrong with the adhesive.
3) People are spitting on the wrong side of the stamp.

[RazorX]

Australia Post created a new stamp displaying a picture of the current Prime Minister of Australia, Mr Kevin Rudd, and has recently suspended a recall of the stamps as requested by the Prime Minister after a special commission enquiry finding.


The Prime Minister was told that the stamp was not sticking to envelopes and the enraged Prime Minister demanded a full investigation.
After a month of testing and spending of $9.73 million, a special commission presented the following findings:
1) The stamp is in perfect order.
2) There is nothing wrong with the adhesive.
3) People are spitting on the wrong side of the stamp.

LMAO!

[Hoop]

>
>
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f".. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi TU understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.