Clean Jokes for Bored FX traders

[arco]

A women asked a man who was travelling with six children, "Are all these kids yours ???"


The man answered "No, I work in a condom factory & these are all customer complaints."

[arco]

A Mormon was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken.

The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him.

The flight attendant then asked the Mormon if he would like a drink.

He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips."

The Irishman promptly handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me, too, I didn't know we had a choice."

[peat]

I;ve dredged this out of the archives so you may have heard it before


A guy goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor! It hurts whenever I press here."
And he demonstrates by pressing on part of his upper arm. "It also hurts here" he says, pressing on the side of his neck. "And here..." this time pressing gingerly on his knee.
At this point the doctor interrupts, asking "You aren't by any chance from Australia are you?"
The man replies, "Why yes, Doctor, I am."
"I thought so," said the doctor. "You have a broken finger."

[arco]

[Xerof]

Why isn't the one on the left carrying the half dozen instead of holding his hand?
The guy on the right also has to carry the umbrella AND a beer...Jeeez

[arco]

[arco]

English couple judged too fat by Immigration Service

Fri, 16 Nov 2007 02:51p.m.


An English couple trying to work in New Zealand has had trouble getting here because the Immigration Service says they are too fat.
Richie Trezise, who is a submarine cable specialist, has been headhunted by Telecom but was told his Body Mass Index of 42 meant he was morbidly obese.
The Immigration Service told Mr Trezise, he would have to trim down before he would be granted a work visa.
He went on a crash diet to lose the weight and pass the test, and he has subsequently been here since September.

But his wife Rowan is still in Britain trying to lose her extra kilos and Mr Trezise says if she does not make it here by Christmas he will return home for good.

http://www.tv3.co.nz/News/NationalNe...4/Default.aspx

[Craig3215]

SYDNEY (AFP) - Santas in Australia's largest city have been told not to use Father Christmas's traditional "ho ho ho" greeting because it may be offensive to women, it was reported Thursday.

Sydney's Santa Clauses have instead been instructed to say "ha ha ha" instead, the Daily Telegraph reported.

One disgruntled Santa told the newspaper a recruitment firm warned him not to use "ho ho ho" because it could frighten children and was too close to "ho", a US slang term for prostitute.


http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20071115...ristmasoffbeat

[arco]

[arco]