Clean Jokes for Bored FX traders

**arco** · 24-10-2008, 04:42 PM

Friday, October 24 2008, 03:52 BST
By Michael Thornton
A range of faulty toilet seats has resulted in the death of one person and injuries to at least six.

Some 91 reports have been registered against Homecraft Rolyan Savannah seats, according to the Medicines and Healthcare products Regulatory Agency (MHRA).

Close to 25,000 of the seats, which carry AA211, AA2112L, AA2114Y and AA2114 product codes, are estimated to have been sold in the UK between May 2007 and January 2008.

Officials are now calling for social care providers to be vigilant if they are looking after people using the product.

The MHRA added that one woman was killed in an accident caused by a faulty seat, although it pointed out that the exact circumstances surrounding her death had not been made clear.

"Six of the reports resulted in the person falling off the toilet because the toilet seat slipped. Injuries have included bumps to the head, bruising and back injury," said MHRA representative Clive Bray.

http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/odd/a133...e-six.html?rss

**arco** · 24-10-2008, 04:46 PM

Friday, October 17 2008, 07:06 BST
By Sarah Rollo

Gok Wan has revealed that he had a massive crush on former Prime Minister Tony Blair.

The How To Look Good Naked star revealed his crush to the Sunday Mirror.

Wan, 34, said: "I had a huge crush on Tony Blair, in a totally sexual way. He was so powerful but nerdy at the same time. That’s my ideal man - a bit geeky but strong."

Wan has joined forces with TV personality Myleene Klass for a new UK talent hunt for Channel 4, entitled Miss Naked Beauty.

http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/showbiz/...ony-blair.html

**arco** · 24-10-2008, 04:49 PM

Hallucination Technique

**arco** · 28-10-2008, 09:54 AM

Black Eye Technique

**arco** · 28-10-2008, 02:17 PM

ONE in five Brits has had sex at work, a raunchy new study has this week revealed.

But that's not the only bonkers place couples like to go at it.
Our romp researchers have found lots of lovers who've been caught getting frisky in other freaky spots, like a police car park and even a church!
Read on as we delve into the XXX-files for a saucy investigation into the strangest places couples get a leg over around the world.
CANAL PATH
IT was passion on the canal path for Scots Gareth Black and Clair Muir earlier this year.
They were caught going at it in broad daylight by a couple of passing policeman on the bank of Falkirk's Union Canal.
Locals called cops after spotting them romping through their windows.

CHURCH
NORMALLY, you might not think there's anything weird about screams of 'Oh God' coming from the church confession box.
Perhaps a shocked vicar or an animated follower pouring their little heart out?
But when Italian cops were called to investigate goings-on at a church in the northern city of Cesena, they found a couple worshipping each others bodies inside.
The fella - a 31-year-old labourer - and his 32-year-old female teacher partner were having oral sex inside for an hour.
The poor old Archbishop was forced to hold a purification ceremony after finding out, bless him.

In heaven ... confession couple

ON CCTV
HAVING sex in the office is bad enough - but getting caught on camera...!
A worker at Newcastle's Rural Payments Agency was fired after a probe into sex between staff.
They were said to have hooked up in toilets and been caught running around their desks naked.
WAR MEMORIAL
SO much for respecting the dead.
A French couple received a four-month suspended jail term after getting caught making a porno at a World War I memorial.
Cameras rolled at the spot in the northern city of Vimy, which pays tribute to 60,000 Canadians killed in battle.
It's an unlikely but seemingly popular spot for getting your kit off.
Just six months earlier another couple got in trouble for taking nude snaps in front of the memorial.

Sex siren ... cop car park

POLICE STATION
WHEN it comes to copping off, it's not a great idea doing it in the car park of a police station.
Yet that's where boozed-up American couple Dennis Cullen and a lady friend were found by officers making love in a vehicle.
Cullen was charged with drink driving but both got away with getting it on.
TRAM STOP
WAITING in line for the bus or a train can be really boring.
So when one British couple tried to kill time waiting for their tram, they decided there was only one thing for it.
The pair - a 29-year-old woman and her 17-year-old toyboy - got naked and started having sex in the street.
Cops were alerted as the whole thing was happening in view of a CCTV camera in Croydon, South London.
But when they asked the rompers to stop over a loudspeaker, they refused. Officers were forced to drive out and arrest the cheeky couple.
CRANE
WE'VE all heard of the mile high club where couples bonk on a plane.
Well, you don't have to board a sleazyjet flight to get it on high up, as a Florida couple allegedly found out.
Construction worker Justin Dunn was accused of having "sexual relations" in a crane by cops who were called to the scene.
When they climbed down, the 23-year-old and his 35-year-old partner denied they were doing anything naughty up there.
Cops didn't end up pressing charges as the crane was deemed as private property.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage...cle1861875.ece

**arco** · 28-10-2008, 04:14 PM

Two Scottish nuns had just arrived to the US by boat when one said to the other, "I heard that the occupants of this country actually eat dogs.""Odd," her companion replied, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do."
Nodding emphatically, the mother superior pointed to a hot dog vendor and they both walked towards it.
"Two dogs, please," said one.
The vendor was only too pleased to oblige and he wrapped both hot dogs in foil. Excited, the nuns hurried over to a bench and began to unwrap their 'dogs.'
The mother superior was first to open hers, then, stared at it for a moment, leaned over to the other nun and whispered cautiously, "What part did you get?"